Sunday, March 22, 2009
Twins Top 10 List...
Here is a list of the top 10 stangest, funniest, and all around weird questions/statements total strangers will ask a mother of twins. And yes, they are all true. I could not make stuff up this good...
As a thrilling little side note I also added (marked by the (Me:) the first thought that popped into my head immediately after the question was asked. Thankfully for both parties involved I kept those little gems to mysef.
10. Are they twins? (Me:) No, I have two babies of exactly the same size and weight in a double stroller that are both crying, pooping, and simutaniously spitting up because it is really fun and relaxing)
9. Are they both yours? (Me: No, I stole another baby of exactly the same size and weight and purchased a double stroller for both just before coming to Longs to stand in line next to you)
8. Are they the same age? (This is after she asked me if they are twins and I said, Yes) This one stumps me to this day. Technnically, no. One is a minute older. Did she think they came out side by side at the same time?
7. Did you have a C-Section? They are big. (Me: As much as I would love to talk about my vagina with you here in the grocery store line...I think I will pass this time.)
6. You're not having any more are you? (Me: Why, because my toddlers are tearing apart this frigging candy display they have so kindly put right next to checkout just to make my life hell every time I walk in this place?)
5. Did you do IVF? (Me: Would you like me to sign a waver to all my medical records so you can call my OB and read up on my fasinating medical history?)
4. Are they identical? (This is after she asked if they were a boy & girl and I said Yes) I get this all the time. No people. One has a wiener. One does not.
3. Did they come out at the same time? (Me: WHAT?! What are you talking about. Again: You mean side by side?? I'm stumped)
2. You are so lucky. They have a built in playmate. (Me: Oh yes, because all two 3 year olds do ALL day is play play play. It's just a dream. Seriously?!)
1. Your husband must be very virile. (Me: Hi Ohhhh, wha wha what?!) The man behind us in line literally started laughing. I could not even look the woman in the eye for fear of bursting into hysterics. (BTW my husband thought it was a fantastic question.) Just for a bit more fun here is the dictionary definition of virile (My husband loves this even more. Must be a man thing)
vir·ile (vîrl, -l)
1. Of, relating to, or having the characteristics of an adult male, especially the ability to perform sexually as a male.
2. Having or showing masculine spirit, strength, vigor, or power.
3. Sexually potent.